I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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