im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
