She is in my trunk
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
