They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it was like eating out sand paper
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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