:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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