I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
