Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
