I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
