This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
this just has baby written all over it
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize