the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
