Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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