I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
