Non-Jews are for practice
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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