try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
