So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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