he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
