I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
