What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
