I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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