How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is the high leading the old right now
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
