Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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