Will you blow on my dice?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
