She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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