this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
