I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
