Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
