I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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