I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
