You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
