physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
