Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
