Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
