she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
