Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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