She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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