how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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