i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
