I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
