I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
