I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
