The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
