you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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