hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize