where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
