That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
