I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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