You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
