party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
