apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
