fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
