I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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