Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
