I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
