we have officially lost it.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
