Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
