It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just want to make out with him forever
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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