She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
