He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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