I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize