Just fell off a train. Bad.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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