google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
