Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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