I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All I want is dick and wine.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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